The first video is word to both pwNPD as well also their ‘victims’ - something that does not really happen on the big mainstream channels about Narcissistic abuse. I think it’s a really vital & relevant conversation that should be happening so much more on these hugely popular accounts.
If you don’t have damaged or porous boundaries you are impregnable to Narcissistic abuse; toleration of abuse is demonstrating to you where you are porous, flawed & therefore vulnerable to the continuance of abuse.
If you are always looking for the chink of positivity & the lesson in life you might be able to see it as a service the abusive relationship has done for you by rudely awakening you up to your own woundedness by finding it, targeting it & thus amplifying it. When you failed to protect yourself by walking away it must be assumed that you were experiencing the abuser as significantly more valuable ‘to you’ than your own self, including your own self preservation, self respect, self esteem & individuation. A state of deep delusion if there ever was one, a situation that inevitably results in more harm & new trauma.
I don’t know if my ex, 20 yrs my senior, 5 yr deeply traumatic relationship ending when I was 33 had NPD, he certainly had several traits but he had been in many & varied deep therapeutic self development/self reflective environments for most of his adult life due to his constant anxiety & inner sense of insecurity. Chances are that he was a semi conscious NPD with complex trauma working on himself to my undx BPD & complex trauma - I certainly experienced him as more valuable over & above my own self esteem, self care etc. it was a very distinct experience because I consciously knew he did not serve or support me on any level whatsoever but I was emotionally unable to detach. A very clear cognitive dissonance right there.
The mass Narc abuse education, release & healing from that that’s occurring atm seems to be a communal throwing off of an old school deep secret in society & families passed down, of a somewhat normalised state of trauma. The Narcissist themselves hugely being the bearer of as well as the detector & distributor of trauma. That said, only those with significant unconscious unexamined damage can succumb to such manipulations for any length of time.
By its unnatural anti-life nature, late stage capitalist society has engendered generations of deeply unconscious wounded, highly stressed parents who go on to deeply wound their own children if they do not break the cycle somehow. Cycle breaking time is upon us, if ever there was one, it is about now. 💪🩷
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