Hi 👋 I’m Sonja I have late dx Bipolar 1 & Borderline Personality Disorder both in remission by natural & lifestyle plus very very late dx/very recent Inattentive ADHD & Autism, (History of PTSD/cPTSD/GAD) Dx at 49 with Bipolar & BPD at 52 & #AuDHD just this year! All my belated diagnoses have helped me as maps to manage this extreme combination of conditions. Never medicated, never hospitalised, my blogs contain a distillation of the natural means i’ve found useful to date. This is a new blog as I feel like I’m a new person now that I’ve finally got all the pieces I need to make sense out of my broken/different physiology, nervous system & psychology.
Showing posts with label ClusterB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ClusterB. Show all posts

Monday, March 18, 2024

Internal Family Systems - my review

I re-started therapy a while back & noted among my therapist’s credentials was listed IFS. Curious I did a bit of research, was drawn in & bought several books to get to know the modality in more detail. I’ve enjoyed my exploration & almost immediately felt a distinct inner re-shuffle of energies from integrating the model & doing several exercises given in one of the books written by its founder Richard Schwartz called No Bad Parts. A title that, if you let it percolate, carrys quite a revelatory momentum in its own right.

I’m left with a strong feeling that everyone would benefit from simply be aware of the model, after all it’s common parlance to casually speak of our willing versus unwilling parts for example, I have found understanding the full inner family layout to be been powerful.

It is a really great model with the caveat that it might not be helpful, is tangentially possibly harmful for the severely mentally ill particularly those currently suffering from psychosis. I’ve seen this stated clearly in many places when researching although I'm not sure I’d have been informed of that from just reading the books themselves.

It definitely crossed my mind during the exercises that at the heights of Bipolar or BPD psychosis there would not be enough access to what the system calls Self to carry a healing session successfully imho although there are many other bottom up, body first therapies that would help in that instance eg polyvagal, somatic experiencing, herbs & nutraceuticals. Further, both pwBipolar &/or BPD are not permanently in crisis & so value may well be had from IFS at other times.

In fact my first IFS book was Somatic Internal Family Systems by Susan McConnell so there is an active move to merge these top down cognitive practices with well established bottom up body work already underway, which is ideal.

When I did my psychotherapy training pre 2000 we learnt Fritz Perl’s famous Gestalt empty chair technique which I loved both experiencing & guiding. We also learnt guided visualisation techniques which could facilitate therapeutic inner exploration. It feels like IFS is the natural progression of these 2 old school psychotherapeutic practices combined.

A highly worthy tool with which to expand our own or a clients self awareness, inviting progressive re-integration of disparate feelings, energies & trauma back into a more stable, unified field, that which we were before traumas took possession of parts of us, quite literally in this model.

What I like about IFS is simply that it is another tool & method for noticing & working with emotional pain in the body by establishing a firm & growing footing in our calm, reasonable optimistic true core Self. This being not the neutral god/i observer of Buddhism & Non-Dual philosophy but rather Self in IFS is a growing presence, of self possession of the bodymind that is the calm, cheerful, central, loving conductor of the system as a whole.

Meeting the IFS model has given me a better footing in that Self, that I’d always been aware of but busy, noisy, frantic, scared, hostile, paranoid, needy energy embodied parts have had well habituated tendencies to take precedence over it at various times, with invariably less than helpful results.

If you feel drawn to learn about this helpful therapy model & further on to unburden your own self sabotaging & self defeating parts without the expense of a therapist I can recommend No Bad Parts by Richard C Schwartz & Somatic IFS by Susan McConnell.

Sunday, March 17, 2024

On the Subject of Karma, Choice & Mental Illness

I don’t often speak on spiritual subjects on here very often although my Instagram stories are full of my kind of spiritual, as well as much psychology & natural health. I don’t so much generate content over there as much as I curate & compile quite well…..but these 2 Instagram reels by Kabbalist David Gyiyam inspired me to want to expand on his excellent points.



As someone whose whole adult life has centred around seemingly meaningless suffering I can see a couple of left field spiritual angles to expand on what David is saying here which I think may be helpful to others who are living through similarly apparently pointless suffering.

When someone’s life of deep suffering is seen by others less afflicted the perceiver is being offered the opportunity to experience & develop empathy & compassion for the sufferer & for suffering in general & also they will likely feel appreciation for the comparative absence of such a level of pain in their own lives. Thus our heavy, imo self chosen, karmic loads are of innate service & benefit to others by the provision of such contrast.

Secondly, and this is quite left field; the relational harm commonly done to others by brain/mind/nervous system disordered people often results in, either sooner or later, an accelerated path to self knowledge, self empowerment & therefore ultimately greater self actualisation in the other person. Arguably far more concretely than without that damage rather like a bone break that repairs itself even stronger.

I realise this is an incredibly contentious & controversial stance. Also people with these kinds of conditions can be completely unaware of the trauma they cause to others or if aware are unable to control the impulses involved, & suffer greatly at that lack. This control requires great work & can only happen after enough awareness has arisen…… this is not straightforward when there is brain/nervous system damage.

This makes me conclude that opting to be a ‘baddie” can be a powerful contribution to the drama necessary to spur evolution in others, this fact may considerably offset future karma. Think Soul Contracts. Further, a life spent dealing with a very heavy negative burden, if fought well, ultimately will result in an accelerated burning off of karma.

It’s a huge risk taking on a strenuous karmic burden of this nature, I do not believe all lives are this full on, you are putting yourself in jeopardy of creating more karma if you do not turn inwards & heal yourself. As soon as we are fully conscious that we are causing harm to others & once we isolate the impulses/mechanisms involved & are actually able to chose otherwise, we are absolutely obligated to do so, so as not to generate more karma. 

It is absolutely your duty to grow in insight into the machinations of your illness despite the incontrovertible fact that insight is hard to build because necessary brain structures are lacking & impaired.

Redirecting yourself intentionally towards hope will start to recreate these structures…… yes, belief is absolutely necessary & belief is cultivated one positive thought at a time & by consistently refuting the inner lies that insist everything is broken, as humanly & compassionately as possible. ✊🏻🙌💗

Friday, March 8, 2024

MDMA for ADHD

 https://www.additudemag.com/psychedelic-therapy-mdma-psilocybin/?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=treatment_march_2024&utm_content=030724&goal=0_d9446392d6-138d3ad97a-300024141

Oh that’s timely, an in depth examination of how the psychedelic revolution in psychiatric medicine might come to benefit those with ADHD. As many as 50% of pwADHD also suffer from a Personality Disorder, 50% have an Anxiety Disorder & between 10-22% have co-morbid Bipolar Disorder, the developmental trauma burden in those with ADHD is likely to be pretty substantial.

A word to the wise though: you literally only get 4 chances per year to use MDMA without badly screwing up your Dopamine system longer term & that’s assuming that your MDMA is pure, when less that half of the street drug contains any actual MDMA at all. MDMA only produces these powerful trauma remissions, 75% in studies experienced full long lasting remission, in conjunction with 8 hour therapy sessions of a particular kind. 

Saturday, December 23, 2023

Bilateral Stimulation Music Therapy

Similarly the same website has a short article describing Bilateral stimulation music therapy which as I just said is kind of an aural, passive form of EMDR I’ve been using it recently. Although it’s related to Isochronic Tones which I’ve been using a lot for a couple of years now, I still use wake up tones most days, also peak tones, that’s Gamma mostly or high Alpha to help concentrate on completing tasks, it is a different angle though.

I see Bilateral Stimulation audio as diminishing nervous system dysfunction exactly like EMDR does (EMDR is most effective targeted by a trauma informed therapist but diy micro EMDR for daily triggers & general dysphoria is absolutely valid) whereas I’ve not found the same remedial long term affects with Isochronic tones, though they remain invaluable for coping with my day to day Audhd challenges which are more deeply hardwired than my trauma based nervous system issues.

https://www.ementalhealth.ca/Waterloo-Regional-Municipality/Bilateral-Music-for-Anxiety-Stress-and-Trauma/index.php?m=article&ID=84502

Here’s a screen grab.




Anyway, I’m having powerful results with Bilateral Stim music atm so wanted to share.



Brainspotting

I was rummaging around for some data on Bilateral Stimulation music therapy, which is like audio, aural passive EMDR & I found this short article explaining very economically how Brainspotting works & how it was developed. Brainspotting is yet another therapy I would love to try given the resources.

https://www.ementalhealth.ca/Waterloo-Regional-Municipality/Brainspotting/index.php?m=article&ID=76841

Here’s a screen grab of the central tenets.





Tuesday, December 12, 2023

Saffron II

 https://www.shamanicplantscience.org/post/early-human-trials-find-saffron-may-be-useful-in-adhd-addiction-depression-alzheimer-s-therapies

This short article gives a great summary. So great I’m reproducing it here in its entirety. Dr Amens favourite herb for depression +++

1)Introduction 

Saffron, the humble yet expensive spice, is smashing early trials for a broad range of mental and neurodevelopmental disorders.

Saffron’s most researched compounds are Crocin, Crocetin, and Safranal. Crocin is a carotenoid and is responsible for the vibrant color of the stigmas in crocus flowers. Carotenoids are natural pigments that include bright yellow, red, and orange compounds such as beta-carotene and includes some of the world’s most powerful antioxidants. Once crocin enters the body, it converts into a metabolite known as crocetin which crosses the brain barrier and enters into the central nervous system. From there it inhibits the reuptake of dopamine which increases dopamine concentrations in the brain. Safranal is what gives saffron its distinct grassy odor and is occasionally used in perfumes. Safranal has mild enhancing activity on the GABA receptors; this may be responsible for saffron’s anti-epileptic and calming effects. 

In one rodent study, one of these constituents (safranal) was able to increase survival and promote neurogenesis of new dopamine neurons. Saffron’s constituents not only elevate dopamine in mouse models, they are also protective and regenerative of the dopamine system. (1

The buzz surrounding saffron is getting attention from several researchers and inspiring a new wave of saffron research into therapeutic applications. In this article we will explore many of the most promising human and animal studies done on saffron to date.




Crocin Molecule - Wikimedia
Crocin Molecule - Wikimedia
Safranal Molecule - Wikimedia
Safranal Molecule - Wikimedia




II) ADHD

One study conducted by the Tehran University of Medical Sciences compared a generic formulation of the drug Ritalin (Methylphenidate) to an extract of saffron in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) to see how the two compare in a classroom setting. Half were given Methylphenidate and half were given an extract of saffron. The study had parents and teachers both fill out a form to determine a ranking for hyperactivity and inattention for each of the children. The study found children who took saffron scored nearly identical to children in the methylphenidate group. (2

ADHD stimulant medications that currently exist on the market come with some side effects that limit their application in a large diversity of people. For example, stimulant drugs can lower the seizure threshold in those with epilepsy. Stimulant drugs can also inflame other neurodevelopmental disorders like increasing tic frequency and/or severity in those with Tourette’s. Stimulant medications are also contraindicated in people with heart disease. Saffron’s dual purpose role as both a stimulant and an antiepileptic might target some of these roles better. While human trials are needed to determine safety of saffron in those with existing cardiovascular disease, saffron has been shown to be protective of the cardiovascular system in healthy individuals in one evidence-based review. (3)


III) Substance use

The link between ADHD and substance abuse is fairly well documented and repeatable across multiple studies. One meta-analysis from over 29 different studies found that 25% of children and 21% of adults admitted into human trials for substance abuse have ADHD, despite the prevalence of ADHD to be at around 5% of the general population. (4) Although no studies have tested saffron against both ADHD and substance abuse together, the convergence of new human trials for both substance use and ADHD could provide new hope for those seeking natural alternatives for this otherwise difficult combination. Recent studies into ADHD have found those with ADHD may have a gene that affects the “brain reward cascade,” or the brain's ability to regulate pleasure and reward. A lack of dopamine due to mutations in these genes can lead to negative feelings which can promote drug and alcohol seeking behavior. (5

The current popular theory is that saffron’s dopamine-enhancing effects may assist with several addiction disorders. 

Saffron was tested in a two-month study of 100 participants in an ongoing methadone reduction program to see if the herb could have an effect on preventing withdrawal symptoms. Scores were reduced by over 19% in the saffron group on several markers including muscle pains, loss of appetite, and sinus discharge while the placebo group noted an increase in symptoms over the 8-week study. (6)

In another study, saffron was tested for among former users of methamphetamine who were living with HIV/AIDS on depression rating scores. 57 former users of methamphetamine with depression were divided into two groups. One group was given saffron and the other group was given a placebo. Participants were given a commonly used self-reporting depression test known as the Beck-Depression Inventory -II. Saffron showed statistical effectiveness in reducing the depression ratings in those that received the oral dose of saffron. (7)

Could saffron help with alcohol addiction? One of saffron’s phytochemicals known as crocin was compared against diazepam (Valium) in mice with alcohol withdrawal syndrome. Researchers found seizures due to alcohol withdrawal were effectively mitigated in both groups with equal effectiveness. (8)

In one animal study, mice with morphine-induced memory impairment scored higher on memory tests when administered saffron extracts. (9) Saffron could find itself in a dual-purpose role, helping to ease cravings while helping to restore some memory and brain function after addiction. More human trials are needed in this area to see what roles saffron may play in restoring brain function after addiction.


IV) Neurodegenerative diseases and brain health

In addition to contributing to overall brain function, saffron may have a role in fighting neurodegenerative diseases. In one small human trial saffron was tested on 46 patients with Alzheimer’s against a placebo control group. The saffron group showed significantly better outcomes on cognition after 16 weeks as compared to the control group. (10)

One review analyzed several studies on saffron and cognition and memory. Saffron shows consistent improvement of memory and learning across multiple human and animal studies. The review included a specific analysis section on human trials in which only one human trial did not see improvement in cognition and memory out of seven. (11)

Saffron was also found protective of disease progression in two Parkinson’s animal trials. (12) (13) Human trials with Parkinson's disease are lacking, but as the evidence stacks up and saffron’s underlying mechanisms are explored, the research trajectory for saffron and Parkinson’s treatment is one to keep an eye on. Other dopamine enhancing drugs (agonists) are already being used in Parkinson’s but saffron may have unique roles as both a dopamine agonist and as a neurogenerative and neuroprotective compound. 


V) Depression

A review compared six different human trials for saffron with depression. All six found antidepressant activity in the saffron. Four of the studies compared saffron to Fluoxetine (Prozac) and all four found similar effectiveness in both saffron and Fluoxetine groups. The consistency of results throughout these human trials highlights that saffron is a powerful antidepressant that warrants further research and long-term study. (14)

Saffron may also be useful as an adjunct therapy for those already taking antidepressant drugs according to one human trial. Saffron + fluoxetine was tested against fluoxetine + placebo. The antidepressant + saffron group scored better on depression scales than the antidepressant + placebo group. (15)


VI) Other Uses

· Eye Health: Saffron has been shown to prevent retinal degeneration and lower intraocular pressure. (16)

· Nerve Pain: Saffron has been shown to be effective for nerve pain in several rodent studies. (17) (18) (19) (20)

· Weight loss, diabetes, and metabolic disorders: Saffron has been shown to assist with lowering cholesterol and weight and can improve lipid profiles. Saffron has been also been shown to assist with high glucose, high triglyceride levels, and insulin resistance in animal trials. (21)


VII) Side effects & dose

Saffron has a fairly low incidence of side effects, the most common of which are dry mouth, nausea, anxiety, and loss of appetite. 

While early toxicology reports have still found that therapeutic doses of saffron might be protective of the liver, saffron has shown some liver toxicity in higher doses than 5 grams of unrefined saffron. Saffron extracts can be especially dangerous and should not be consumed in higher doses than recommended on their bottles or kidney and liver function can become impacted.

The dose of saffron extract I have seen most consistently used in human trials across several studies is between 15 – 30 mg per day. Most supplement manufacturers as of 2021 sell dosages that seem to fall in a range between 30 and 88 mg.