I’ve been meaning to share this link for ages as it’s a very exciting development in the therapy world.
I haven’t time to go over the article right now, but my take away is that 99.99% of therapy/ therapists are constitutionally unsuitable for NPDs in particular, I suspect BPDs will be similar in some respects tbh as there’s significant overlap. And what Elinor has been developing is actually a pretty straightforward upgrade to therapy approach. What I’m saying is let your therapist read this article & them adapt specifically for you with Elinor’s recommendations because currently this perspective is not yet being taught to therapists.
Not only is it a logical & transparent shift in therapy approach but it’s a guide to brain changing for PDs generally when the ‘no blame’ position is adopted, as far as possible, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but you know, slowly embraced as a selfish in the best sense, self care, human cpu rewiring position. I see it as potentially transformative in its own right, just this one change.
PDs are notoriously in the habit of either self or other hating or blaming & it’s literally this one block that pinning down their neurology more than anything else.
This is on the same page as cruelty to self or others being a vent from unconscious inner pain. The only alternative is feeling it, letting it bubble up into art, letting yourself see it & with time, feel it, mourn it, & re-member yourself. Just know it’s just a delay mechanism imho, in that it just buys some time before you have to feel it. But give yourself the best chance possible. 🩷
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